I just got back from what probably is and hopefully will always be the quickest trip to Canada ever. This past weekend I went to a wedding banquet for one of my cousin's from Georgia.
(Alan & Tran, if you are reading this I wish you both the very best and congratulations. I had an awesome time.)
This was quick because we got to Toronto on Saturday at noon and then came back Sunday. We drove for 16 hours and stayed there (I count this as time spent awake) for 12-14 hours. That's pretty quick.
I like these family trips though. It puts some money in the "Time Spent with Family" piggy bank and in general they're just fun; but in a dysfunctional sort of way. Every family trip together starts out like this:
1) We NEVER leave on time. And guess what? This was no different. A week before we were supposed to leave, our parents hammered into our heads that we had to leave no later than 3:30-4:00 in the afternoon. And of course on the day of, at 3:30 PM we're still packing, locking down doors, screaming at each other for stupid things. It was just great.
2) We Scream at Each Other for Stupid Reasons. Somehow everyone starts screaming at each other once we're in the car every 15 minutes to half-hour. And it's a chain reaction. My mom screams at me for coming too close to a car (when in fact I am NOT), my dad tells my mom to calm down, my sister laughs and makes fun of me, my mom yells at my sister for something else, and to infinity and beyond. And these mini-fights happen out of no where.
A nice silence can last for 10 minutes until all of a sudden my dad will (idiotically) bring up some trivial topic that causes my mom to get defensive and the screaming begins again.
3) Catch up on News. Which kind of means gossip. But this could mean friends, family, or the person that served us lunch that day. Anyone. So don't do anything bad to me or else you'll end up in "the news". (I am sure you are quaking in your boots right now).
4) We get lost. I don't know how but we always manage to veer off the correct path. We did better this time around but we still ended up having our "getting lost argument" (everyone screams at each other instead of figuring out where to go next).
Speaking of getting lost, this time around instead of using paper and pencil, we used the GPS I purchased last year to navigate us to Toronto. Of course no matter how accurate the GPS was, my parents wouldn't trust it. And thus a showdown ensued...
Garmin 330c GPS
VERSUS
My Dad's Illegible Crusty Written Directions (Crusty = Old)
VERSUS
My Dad's Illegible Crusty Written Directions (Crusty = Old)
Don't get me wrong. My Dad's directions have gotten us to Canada for however long we've been going to Canada. Of course we get lost every time (the worst was when we ended up crossing at the Detroit Michigan/Canadian border instead of the Niagara Falls border).
But it was an intense battle. The GPS was challenged at every turn and command by my dad who ruffled through his papers only to find that a) it matched with what he wrote or b) my dad's directions were wrong. For the most part, a) happened but b) happened too many times as well.
On the way back home, my dad gave up challenging the GPS and he let the Garmin GPS win. It was kind of sad. In some way, those papers were his pride and hard work. And now this boxed electronic the size of his fist can do the same thing faster and more accurately.
This trip is also momentous because I drove all the way there and drove all the way back. Which I think is a first. Usually I get help from my sister or my dad but this time it was all me. And I wanted it that way. There are few opportunities where I get to prove my manliness in front of my parents and given that I've all but dropped the ball on most of them this is one I could surely accomplish.
Random things about driving all the way:
1) Roadkill is every where. I wonder what it's like to have an animal hit your car? (Okay before you start dialing PETA I just want to say I hope it never happens to me).
2) I saw a turtle walk in the middle of the road. I hope it didn't get run over. I initially thought it was half a roadkill which was still alive and walking--like a zombie (scary).
3) Your neck gets stiff from staring at the road. Though this may be obvious, it wasn't to me until I got out of the car for a stretch.
4) There are some REALLY DUMB drivers out there. Which is scary because you and everyone else is driving so fast on the highway. I won't go into specifics but let's just say that I let it be known in my car whenever there was an idiot on the road.
Man, I am tired. This post ends here.
But it was an intense battle. The GPS was challenged at every turn and command by my dad who ruffled through his papers only to find that a) it matched with what he wrote or b) my dad's directions were wrong. For the most part, a) happened but b) happened too many times as well.
On the way back home, my dad gave up challenging the GPS and he let the Garmin GPS win. It was kind of sad. In some way, those papers were his pride and hard work. And now this boxed electronic the size of his fist can do the same thing faster and more accurately.
This trip is also momentous because I drove all the way there and drove all the way back. Which I think is a first. Usually I get help from my sister or my dad but this time it was all me. And I wanted it that way. There are few opportunities where I get to prove my manliness in front of my parents and given that I've all but dropped the ball on most of them this is one I could surely accomplish.
Random things about driving all the way:
1) Roadkill is every where. I wonder what it's like to have an animal hit your car? (Okay before you start dialing PETA I just want to say I hope it never happens to me).
2) I saw a turtle walk in the middle of the road. I hope it didn't get run over. I initially thought it was half a roadkill which was still alive and walking--like a zombie (scary).
3) Your neck gets stiff from staring at the road. Though this may be obvious, it wasn't to me until I got out of the car for a stretch.
4) There are some REALLY DUMB drivers out there. Which is scary because you and everyone else is driving so fast on the highway. I won't go into specifics but let's just say that I let it be known in my car whenever there was an idiot on the road.
Man, I am tired. This post ends here.
